Archive for the ‘all alone’ Category

>Feels Like an Eternity

Posted: October 28, 2009 in all alone

>I feel like I’ve been on my own for a month when in reality it’s only been since last Friday. My husband along with his mother flew to see his grandpa, her dad this week. He turned 87 on Monday and they wanted to spend the day with him. That was wonderful and I’m glad they had the time together! Mean while, back home I’m sad and lonely with a cold bed to sleep in each night!

It doesn’t matter that my house is full of kids, dogs, and cats I still felt as if I had been left alone. At night the clock would slow down and crawl, sleep eluded me many times. It has made me question my dependence on this wonderful husband of mine.

We’ve been married for 21 years. He really is part of me, more than part of me, he completes me in many ways. I know that sounds so corny but it has some truth in it. Why have I allowed this dependence to develop to this point? Why did I not realize the complete need I had for him?

As I am pondering these thoughtful questions I received an e-mail from hubby at 3:15am. Apparently I am not the only one with dependency issues. Whew, that makes me feel much better! Now I can stop over thinking the need I have to have this man in my life! I told him he can’t leave me again. I just don’t sleep. Nothing gets done around the house because he isn’t there to do it! And I hate doing dishes! So no, he cannot have another vacation without me!

He was supposed to be home at 7:15 this evening. I was to pick him up at the airport. Northwest Airlines will not get our business again. It has been a roller coaster all day today! His flight was delayed, the connecting flight was cancelled, he was told he would have to stay the night in Minneapolis, now he thinks he will be on a 6:30 flight this evening and may be in by 10pm. It’s all a waiting game. Will I see him tonight? Will it be sometime tomorrow? Will I have another sleepless night? Only time will tell.

This may give me some time to actually clean the house though. It would suck to come home to a house that has been messed up by four kids between the ages of 15 and 20. Not that I do any messing up of anything mind you. I’m never messy.

If you believe that then you don’t know me very well. 🙂

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